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Twins with you by butterbly

:iconmyaoh:
Wow! Where do I start? Well first let me say, you should be proud!
Going outside your comfort zone is REALLY hard.
And for you to go this far is inspiring.
Also, I do not think neither of them is scary. They're both beautiful!

VISION: I think you have great vision with this art piece.
I've always loved under the sea pictures.
And you finished this beautifully!
I will say though, that this picture maybe needed more going on around.
The sea is full of lot's of magnificent things~!
And I think it would have REALLY blown people away to see the image like this with an abundance of creatures and life form; as the sea truly is.
I also think, that it would have been beautiful to see mermaids.. well being mermaids!
Playing, swimming around, creating art in the water, just any sort of action.
Or even the two embracing each other, since this piece seems to be about them ^^
But over all, great vision. I see the beauty in this artwork.

ORIGINALITY: I think this picture has lot's of originality.
From how you portray them in their element, to the designs of the characters.
Like I said before though, the more environment in this picture, the more original it would be.
Not much else to say about the originality though!

TECHNIQUE: Now this is where the more hard critique comes in. I can see you worked hard on this, it's gorgeous.
I'm going to first say though, that some big things throw me off. From the position the view is in, it looks as though you would be bellow them looking above, since you can see the top of the water. But the girls are face front, with less of a dynamic view. I think if maybe you changed the view of the girls, it would look a lot better. Even though that is a really hard position to draw!~
Another thing, is that the two girls seem as though they're not really together. I think adding some shading onto the mermaid on the right, would really show their positions. Since the long haired mermaid is in front, naturally there would be a shadow behind.
This is also my own opinion, but I feel like the two mermaids are drawn in different styles per say. It doesn't really feel like they're supposed to be in the same picture. In example, they eyes are very different. From the shape to the shading. Also, the one on the left has more proper anatomy than the one on the right, where her arms and hands seem to be too small or too skinny. The left eye on her seems a bit too big too.
One other thing that throws me off is the color of the line art. While this is style preference, I think when using a lighter line art color for darker colors doesn't go too well together. The lines make more of an impact than the colors, and it should be the other way around. So just make a better choice of line art color if you agree ^^
I think another thing would be the sea creatures. It looks like they are randomly placed. I think, you should show the flow of the water. It would add more depth and create more of the natural element of water. Maybe add bubbles to express movement, or light colored waves behind or beside them. It would make them look alive~!

IMAPCT: I think this picture really did impact me. It shows the beauty of the ocean, along with the mysterious creatures such as mermaids. The colors are really beautiful and vibrant! And for going outside your comfort zone, makes me proud.

You did an amazing job over all. I am honored for you to be asking for a critique from me, and I hope in some way this helps! I am very proud, and I would love to see more of this from you <3
The Artist thought this was FAIR
17 out of 17 deviants thought this was fair.

Comments


:iconmora0711:
Mora0711 Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
This reminds me of the time I've tried drawing a mermaid. I was just learning how to work with anatomy in the picture at the time and had some trouble figuring out the length of the arms and tail. It was one the first attempts at drawing people and it came out well, except I made the arms too skinny and the tail too long for the mermaid's age.

Its not easy working out of your comfort zone, but I'd say you've done a great job. The colors and design are beautiful. I will admit that the only thing I think needs work are the tails. To me, one looks a little too short and the other a bit too long, considering where they're suppose to bend. But don't be hard on yourself, those type of tails are hard to do because of how human legs look. You could try this trick where you indicate where a character is standing with their feet together. The tail will be from the character's hips to their ankles, and then draw the fins right where the feet are suppose to be. Or find an outline drawing of a character standing in that position and, with another color pencil, practice drawing a fish tail on them. That way you can work with the curves of the figure. Give it a try and see if it helps.

Other than that, I think you've made a great start.
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:iconbutterbly:
butterbly Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2012  Student Digital Artist
Uwahh~ Thank you so very much for critiquing! At first, I just thought that I would draw a picture of them together,because they had been sitting in my adopted folder for a while.

For some reason, I can never draw two characters together without making them seem like they belong in different pictures orz;;

I didn't put much thought into the position, because I again I wasn't really going to make this a full blown piece.

Thank you very much for telling me all the things that I should work on and taking your time to write such a wonderful critique! I'm going to try more undersea pictures ;u; with these two, and maybe somehow try and make it more alive.
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